I’m talking to someone right now. Although she’s responsive, curious, and seems genuinely interested, it still takes her hours, if not a whole day to get back to me sometimes. On a few occasions, there wasn’t even a reply. It leaves me wondering what she’s doing or if I had done something wrong. I compulsively check my phone. Every time there’s a “ding!” I charge to my Samsung like I’ve been waiting for my Uber driver.
I know, the Golden Rule is playing it cool. Go on and live my life instead of sitting in front of the cell and act as if it’s no big deal. But as a guy who’s been in this position way too much, I’ve realized that pretending never works. When you like someone, they could distract you from even the most attention consuming activities.
You’re in class but daydreaming about them. You’re working but they’re the only thing on your mind. Mundane tasks make you want to escape to romanticizing more. Even when you’re partying, you resist your urge to text them. No matter how much you avoid checking your phone, you subconsciously focus on it, anyway.
Not only is this unhealthy, but you might potentially expose your eagerness. You already know this. However, emotions drive you more than logic. On some level, you enjoy the thrilling danger. It certainly beats feeling nothing at all. How do you stay sane when someone shows clear signs of indifference in their texts and response times?
Remind yourself of these things that I’m about to share.
They didn’t know what to say
They don’t know how to keep the conversation going. Instead of messing up the flow, they’d rather retreat to silence. They put pressure on themselves to perfect every word, so it has nothing to do with you.
They’re playing hard to get
Experienced daters will do this without question. They’re fluent with the hot and cold game. They’ll do it even when they know they have you in the bags — because it’s fun.
Some people are so lazy that they don’t even reply to their friends
Believe it or not, there are people out there who are too lazy to move a finger, literally — even if they like you. In fact, the more interest they have, the more effort it requires to compose an appropriate response. Sometimes they aren’t sure how to reply at first, so they push it off for later. And later becomes never.
They’re truly busy
Being busy isn’t always about the lack of time. They’re often so mentally and emotionally occupied that they don’t have sufficient energy to attend to other things. For instance, if they have an important test coming up, it’s natural to lock in and pay less attention to anything else.
Sometimes they’re just not interested
You can tell by how much effort they put into their replies. Constant one-word texts and emojis after you sent them long sentences is a clear sign that they aren’t serious. Still, keep your composure for your own sake.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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